{Found this in one of the notebooks that I started on September 2nd, 2009}
You’re not alone.
I feel it too.
Those thoughts of death,
the loss of hope.
I hate myself.
I’m not beautiful.
I’m jealous, selfish.
I put on a mask
all the time.
A mask
of happiness.
I’m smiling,
but inside…
I’m dying.
You’re also not alone. Reading this is like looking at my own thoughts made manifest on my computer screen (well, except replace the word beautiful with handsome.)
I, too have put on the mask of happiness. I do it out of fear that I’ll push people away from me if I show them how miserable I am. It can be so exhausting. Some days I just don’t have the energy to carry on the facade any more and I crash.
I appreciate you sharing these thoughts. It’s always nice to know there’s others out there fighting the same fight. We can do this! Be strong!
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