thoughts – november 22nd, 2015

I feel like I’m beginning to have a glimpse of what parents are feeling when they say, “I wish I could go through that for you” to their children. My heart breaks when my nieces tell me stories from school where kids were rude to them, when they felt embarrassed, and so forth. I feel sad when my little nephew is sick and doesn’t feel well. I wish I could go through those things for these sweet little kiddos.

What’s amazing to me, though, is that our brother and Savior, Jesus Christ, truly did go through all the things we go through – he felt the heartaches, pain, suffering…every single thing…for every single person that has lived and ever will live. To me, that is beyond amazing. As humans, we can’t even wrap our minds around that concept. I mean, I have enough sorrow in my life alone (haha), so imagine taking on the woes of everyone.

No matter how trivial a struggle or feeling you feel may seem to another person, to Christ, that struggle or feeling is very real. He is sometimes, perhaps, truly the only person who can understand fully how we feel.

With all the terrible and sad things that are happening in the world, I will sometimes go to my mother to vent…and cry (haha). (I’m pretty sure I’ve grown up learning to be like…hyper-sensitive to other people’s feelings. It goes with the terrain of having depression. 😉 But, those thoughts are for another time…) I will say things to my mom like, “It’s not fair. Why does this have to happen to them?!” She will let me talk and vent all I need to. Then in the end, she’ll sometimes tear up, smile and say, “Mariah, the atonement will fix everything and make everything fair.”


In the moment, that’s not always what is easy to hear. Because I want fairness, and I want it now! But, it’s true. And I have to remind myself of this often. I have to trust in the Lord, and know that in the end…the atonement will truly make everything fair. Wrongs will be made right, terrible things will be healed and people that have struggled and suffered beyond all belief will find overwhelming happiness in Heaven, with the Heavenly Father that loves us all dearly.

It’s not that Heavenly Father wants us to go through these things…but they must be done, because when we chose to come to Earth, we knew that everyone would have free agency and that things wouldn’t be easy.

I don’t know…I just find hope in remembering this from time to time. Like I said, it isn’t always what I want to hear, because it’s so incredibly hard for me to see others suffer, but I have to look at it with an eternal view.

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