our own worst enemy. – september 14th, 2015

Today, after saying a prayer, I just knelt on my bedroom floor thinking, “How the heck am I going to do this?” This, as in, life.

When will the sadness end? When will life feel worth it? My mind was clouded, as it often is when I’m very sad, and I didn’t see how I’d make it in life. How will I survive? I didn’t want to.

Then, I thought to myself, “Mariah, you can do this.”

Then, I started to cry. Haha.

THEN, I sat there, kind of in shock, thinking, “Why the heck am I crying after that positive thought?!”

I realized that was the first kind thing I had thought/said to myself in seriously the longest time.

In fact, I can’t think of the last time I gave myself positive encouragement like that.

—–

We truly are our own worst enemies.
It’s so bizarre and interesting why and how our minds do that.

And more to be said on this topic in a later post…

xo.

P.s. On a happy note…
There was this episode of “Boy Meets World” where one of the teachers told Shawn, “You are your own worst Eskimo.”

Ha! It had to do with the episode….can’t remember how, haha. Anyway, I was just reminded of that.

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